it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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