I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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