There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
