the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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