dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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