id be glad to
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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