I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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