Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Boobs speak an international language.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
