This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
