Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize