I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
