It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
