This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
someone threw a dead crab at me
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Sorry about my life...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
