she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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