it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
