fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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