Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize