i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
