yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We got so high we made milksteak
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize