found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
