You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
