yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
