thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
