one might say we're banned from that church
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
