also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
