Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
