i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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