i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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