took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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