i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
