I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
