I heard we made out
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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