She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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