Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
