and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
