I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I would ride that face into the sunset
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
