first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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