like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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