you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize