Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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