I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
