What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
