i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
