I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
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