Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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