fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
