Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
