hotel room ftw
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
