Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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