He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
