i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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