the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
