I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
