I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
