Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
