How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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