I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
