i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
