So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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