I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
