so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
