I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
