also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
