Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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