Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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