I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
