Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
