I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
